Neighbourhood Committees Demanded to Quell Opium Problem!

In an effort to control the spread of opium use among wallabies, the Australian government is considering the establishment of neighbourhood committees to rehabilitate users. The 'running around in circles' will not be tolerated among the otherwise peaceful and law abiding marsupials, according to local law enforcment officials. The federal government is considering declaring a state of emergency if local officials are overwhelmed with the problem. An academic commission has been established to study ways in which the affected wallabies can be integrated into the mainstream community and China's successful policies from the 1950s are being seen as a possible model.