If I was a gay ‘Paki’

Remember the days when calling someone a 'homo' was a serious insult. Today, with the advent of politically correct language, no one dares use 'homo' in a derogatory manner.

In Dubai, a few years ago a mutual acquaintance asked a friend of mine whether I was gay [a homo].

I don't know what the enquirer was thinking. Maybe it was a polite way to enquire whether I was 'available' and looking to settle down (at least I like to think so!). After all, Dubai is a conservative society and the person asking was an Arab. In Arab society, it is unusual for a man to be unmarried in his forties.

For the record, I am a straight male. However, I am not homophobic. In fact, I enjoy the company of gay men. I even take pleasure in the occasional night out at gay bars.

Before you jump to any conclusions, let me explain. Consider the characteristics one normally associates with gay men. They dress well, keep themselves in decent physical shape and are good conversationalists. Most importantly, they always have lots of pretty women around them! What's not to hang around with as long as they know not to cross the line with me?

As for gay bars, well, sometimes it's nice to be offered a drink by a stranger. No one likes a tease so best not to accept any offers! It does make a pleasant change to be asked rather than doing the asking.

In reality, being mistaken for a gay man is not such a bad thing. It suggests that I have all those positive characteristics described above. Who doesn't wish to be seen as a good dresser and good conversationalist?

Undoubtedly, language colours the way we see the world. It can be a positive or a negative hue. Political correctness, when seen in this context, is a positive development.

Language plays an important part in how we see the world

Occasionally being called a 'Paki' while at school in England in the early 1980s, I can tell you language has immense power to evoke harmful feelings. The word precipitates a negativity which is hard to describe.

Suddenly, I am no longer acceptable by mainstream society. I am different from everyone else. It does not matter how I dress or speak English. I am unlike all around me, but in a negative way. Remember, the 1980s were the decade of 'Paki bashing' as a pastime by white racists in Britain.

At times it's important to sacrifice political correctness in order to speak honestly. In the long run, society can only benefit by honesty. In some situations, it helps to 'shock the system' by tossing political correctness out the window. 

Honesty and the 'shock value' of some behaviour forces persons to question existing perceptions. Without introspection improving contemporary state of affairs is almost impossible.

Personally, I enjoy making people question their assumptions. Sometimes, in order to do this, one has to indulge in behaviours which run contradictory to the grain of my personality. (Anyone who believes human personalities are not contradictory by nature is deluding herself.)

However, there are some universal truths in life. It's an indisputable fact that if I were gay I would own many more pairs of shoes and also have countless more female friends!