Friday, 16 October 2009

How to Outlive Elvis and Continue Blogging

I celebrated my 43rd birthday a few days ago. Having gone through the psychological '40' barrier a few years ago the day itself was a non-event.
There were the congratulatory phone and email wishes from friends and family, even a few birthday cards I received via snail mail.
Death can strike humans at any time and far be it for me to question my departure time. Still, stay with me as I speculate based on probabilities and statistics.

A Singaporean male's life expectancy is 75 years while a Pakistani male is expected to live a decade less (65). Average the two and I have another 27 years to go – until I hit the ripe old age of 70.
It's a sobering thought to know that more than half my life is now behind me.
Elvis had been accused of satanic behaviour and helped change pop culture before he hit twenty. Napoleon's first attempt to take over France occurred before his 30th birthday.
Yes, I can talk about some serious professional achievements during my twenty plus years of toiling and grovelling for the Gods of the corporate world. But do I want to be remembered for having led a team which launched the first Shariah compliant local currency bond or a Middle Eastern asset management business?
I really don't think so. But I can't claim to have changed pop culture or attempted to overthrow a government, at least not yet.
My aims are far more modest - being remembered as the 'Grand Moofti' will be rewarding enough for me!
PS - For those still look for an answer on how to outlive Elvis (who died at age 42) in 1977: don't overdose on prescription drugs while going to the toilet!


  1. Several thoughts came to me as I read this. The first was that if you drink enough red wine, you can safely leave 70-year olds in the dust as far as longevity is concerned. I speak from personal experience. Since I added red wine to my diet several years ago, purely as a medicinal product, you understand, my HDL has steadily gone up. HDL, as you know, is the "good stuff" and according to at least one reliable aging study, it is one of the factors found consistently in those who live to be beyond 100. Since no other aspect of my diet has changed, which still consists of the three major food groups: Pizza, Beer and Tea, although the beer is being abandoned in favour of red wine, unless of course it's German beer, which is God's gift to humanity and I consider it sacriligeous to not drink it, I have to attribute the HDL increase to the red wine. My goodness, but that last senetence was almost Dickensian in character. I'm so proud of myself. Anyway, I see no reason why you should not live to be well beyond 86 years of age, happily making life for those around you miserable. I fully intend to. I plan to move into a retirment home at about 65, flirt hideously with all the male nursing assistants, going so far as to pinch bottoms and grin widely exposing my dentures fully, continue to drive well into my 80s, developing a habit of sticking my head out the window and yelling at everyone to get the "heck" out of my way and making rude hand gestures at truckers, all the while blaring my music with the bass turned all the way up. Back at the nursing home, I plan to organise a gang, the chief amusement and raison d'etre of which will be to drive our golfing carts around the property at break neck speeds, trying to run over non-gang residents. We may even get tattoos. Hmmm. I'll have to think more about that one. Anyway, our evenings will be occupied pimping our wheel chairs, for when they take our golfing carts away.

    My goodness, but my thoughts ran away with me there. I completely forgot what the other things were that your blog entry made me think of. But I do appreciate being able to use YOUR blog to air MY views. :) If you feel I should just go get my own instead of hijacking yours, please feel free to say so!

  2. Hi Saadia,

    Great to hear from you as always - thanks for taking the time to write.

    I will encourage you to use my blog to air your thoughts and innermost retirement fantasies!

    The red wine suggestion is useful and true. I just wish that decent wine was not so expensive in Singapore!

    I am not much of a beer drinker but I did come across the 'Radler' during my travels to Germany. In case you are not aware, it is beer mixed with a dash of honey and lemon (mixed to taste). Try it - you may get a taste for it. Of course, the Bavarian beer halls probably make a better sample but ...

    The retirement plan sounds like a blast. I am sure you (and your gang) will create enough trouble for reporters from the daily evening news in another peaceful town to stay gainfully employed. Maybe a 'gang' blog to terrorize the local residents with your daily 'edicts' may be worth thinking about - it worked for Mullah FM in Swat for a while!

    Do keep the comments flowing ... I am sure I am not the only one who looks forward to reading them.

    Kind regards,


  3. Thank you, it's very generous of you. And, as you've probably seen by now, I had a rather lengthy comment on one of your other blog entries. I came back to this one, though, because I knew there was something about it that bothered me last night when I first read it and I couldn't figure out what, and then this morning, even before I'd had my first cup of tea, I realized what it was: you have 27 more years to go, not 17. Dude. Talk about shortening your life expecetancy! :)

  4. Hi again ... Thank you for pointing that out - I hope it's not wishful thinking?!

    27 years seems like such a long time ... I will make the change immediately. So much for being a finance type who plays with numbers!

    Kind regards,